#5 – And the sign said, “Long Haired Freaky People…Need Not Apply” (5 Man Electrical Band)

Our family recently drove from Chicago to Virginia.  On the way back, we made it all the way to Cleveland before calling it a night.  The next day, we took in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  I was really looking forward to going, and for the most part it did not disappoint.

Some of the items I saw were absolutely incredible.  Joe Strummer’s guitar from his days with The Clash blew me away.  It looked like a spray painted piece of cardboard taped to the end of a yard stick, with a few strings (no way there was 6)  meandering from one end to the other.  It certainly wasn’t a trophy guitar.  It was a tool that was used and abused…to help create some of the best music of my lifetime.

http://youtu.be/_5t0euQvYlQ

But this post is really about what happened after our visit.  I was googling for information on the R&R HOF and what I found shocked me.  There are SO many performers worthy of induction into the HOF that are not yet in there.  And what really brings this into focus is some of the acts that ARE in the HOF.

KISS is NOTin the HOF, but Alice Cooper is.  I like Alice Cooper, but he/they would be an opening act (at best) for KISS at every point in time over their respective careers.

The Heartbreakers are in the HOF, but the E Street Band in NOT.  Bruce Springsteen is in the HOF, but I’ve never considered The Boss a solo artist with a back up band.  Besides Mike Campbell, I couldn’t name a Heartbreaker and would walk past each and every one of them if I saw them on the street.  The E Street Band is loaded with characters who have elevated Springsteen’s music to unbelievable heights.  The Big Man, Little Steven, Roy, Max, etc.  Did others besides Tom Petty write lyrics and/or music?  Handle the arrangements?  If so, and I’m a Heartbreaker, I’m pissed that TP got to put his name out front.  And for some reason I don’t think someone with a HOF ballot looks that closely into such things.  Maybe I’m wrong.  But what a crock.

Onto another category of Ins and Outs.

In:  The Stooges, Dusty Springfield, Frank Zappa, Jeff Beck as a solo artist, and The Velvet Underground.  I could have named more, and I decided to leave off people/groups I’ve never even heard of.

Not In: The Cure, Dire Straits, Hall and Oates, Jim Croce, Journey, The Moody Blues, Peter Gabriel, Roxy Music, and The Steve Miller Band.  I easily could have named 20 more.

This is flabbergasting. Ask a thousand people what trait is most important in earning a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  You probably will hear:  Sold A Lot Of Records, Kicked Ass When Playing Live, Stayed Relevant For A Long Time, Were Respected By Their Peers, Were The First To…, Were The Best At…, Influenced People And Other Bands, and In One Way Or Another Have Indelibly Left Their Mark On The Music Business.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out why some “In’s” are in and why some “Not In’s” are not in.  Granted, it could be parts of many reasons, but the only angle I can come up with is the nebulous “Influential” tag assigned to some and not assigned to others.

The issue of influence was readily apparent in the wake of Lou Reed’s death a few weeks ago.  I believe it was Brian Eno who said something to the effect of: Only a few thousand people bought the Velvet Underground’s first album, but every one of them started a band.  The cynic inside me says that was possible because no one in Velvet Underground could sing and anyone with more than 2 music lessons could replicate their music.

Is Daryl Hall not influential enough because only a handful of people on earth can sing like he can?   Is Roxy Music not influential enough because their style couldn’t be replicated and was decades ahead of its time?  I seriously want an Official of the R&R HOF to explain how The Stooges got in before Roxy Music…or how The Stooges got in before anybody for that matter.  Name one member of The Stooges.  Don’t say the stage name Iggy Pop.  What’s his real name?  No one knows.  No one cares.  I think he’s from Detroit.  Whatever.

The proverbial straw.

Further googling unearthed the most blatant omission.  The band Chicago is not in the R&R HOF.  The omission is bad enough, but the story, or lack thereof, concerning the omission has relegated the R&R HOF to Pro Wrestling status.  What I mean is I may still enjoy it every once in a while, but I’ll never ever take it seriously again.

You may love the band Chicago.  You may hate Chicago.  But you cannot deny that they have accumulated a body of work over the past 45 years that warrants serious consideration, right?  Record sales are only one way of looking at the success of a group, but being in the top 5 all-time in record sales shouldn’t hurt your chances, right?

The kicker is that in the 20 years they have been eligible for the HOF, they’ve never even been nominated.  Not once.  A quick search on The Google let’s us know that every year there is a nominating process.  Then later that year a vote determines if you make the HOF.  When I first read this, I smelled conspiracy.  And it didn’t take long to find theories to support my hunch.  The theory that most web sites subscribe to is the alleged rift between Chicago and Jann Wenner, the founder of Rolling Stone magazine and co-founder of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

So an institution I respected for years, and an induction ceremony I looked forward to every year, has devolved into an episode of reality TV.  Secrets, pettiness, alliances, undeserving winners, disrespected losers, etc.

Reality TV is not my cup of tea (Rockstar INXS in 2005 the exception), so I’m declaring my separation from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  Unless I’m in Cleveland…and I get a hankering to see some scribbled lyrics on the back of a cocktail napkin.