I was watching the movie Deadpool the other day.\u00a0 Although incredibly graphic both visually and verbally, I consider it a modern day classic.\u00a0 The humor is woven in and balanced brilliantly throughout.\u00a0 One of the funnier running themes is Wade Wilson’s (Deadpool’s real name as played by Ryan Reynolds) love of the pop group Wham!.\u00a0 While I truly appreciate the talents of Wham!, which really means the talents of George Michael, I’ve had a 32-year old bone to pick with the recently departed legend.\u00a0 When Christmas-time rolls around again, and with George not around to worry about it, I’m hoping one of the great injustices of our time will finally be righted.<\/p>\n
Of course, I\u2019m talking about the perennial lie that George Michael\u2019s \u201cLast Christmas\u201d is a Christmas song.\u00a0 A lie so great, mind you, that not only is it considered a Christmas song…aside from Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You, it is probably the most played Christmas song in the world.\u00a0 Well I am here to shed light on this travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham (the only decent Woody Allen line that doesn\u2019t require 3 decades of living in Manhattan to appreciate).<\/p>\n
All the song has going for it (from a seasonal-specific standpoint) is that it mentions December 25th<\/sup> as the date when a very non Christmas-y thing happened. \u00a0That doesn’t count!\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at another calendar-conscious song.\u00a0 When you sit around with your friends and debate the greatest Autumnal Equinox song ever recorded, I\u2019m sure you don\u2019t consider “September”, the song that has Earth, Wind, and Fire dancing the night away. Yow!\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 September 21st<\/sup> (Autumnal Equinox Eve for those of you playing at home) just happened<\/em> to be the night for chasing the clouds away. Yow!<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a quick mid-post Insignificant Trivia Question:\u00a0 What is the greatest Vernal Equinox song ever recorded?\u00a0 Please.\u00a0 Like it could be anything other than Age of Aquarius by The 5th<\/sup> Dimension.\u00a0 And a belated thank you needs to go out to Marilyn McCoo et al for explaining once and for all what happens in March every 25,800 years.<\/p>\n Last Christmas, da da da da da.\u00a0 The very next day, da da da da da.\u00a0 Ok, back to the original point.\u00a0 Looking at it a different way, simply mentioning a holiday does not automatically attach it to that holiday.\u00a0 If that was the case, George could have made an entire album called \u201cSongs For Every Holiday\u201d, sang Last Christmas over and over again, and simply replaced the word Christmas with Easter, Dyngus Day, Halloween, and every other major holiday out there.\u00a0 George made that incredibly easy to do by not bothering to rhyme the word Christmas with anything.\u00a0 Was it that implausible, George, for you to break up on an Isthmus?\u00a0 It almost makes me want to call for a complete and formal removal of the previously earned exclamation point at the end of \u201cWham!\u201d…Almost.<\/p>\n So please everybody, when you make those calls to your local DJ starting the day after Thanksgiving, request a true blue Christmas song like Springsteen\u2019s version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.\u00a0 Or the absolute best Christmas song ever, the Johnny Cash version of The Little Drummer Boy.\u00a0 The man was so cool he paid others to sing \u201cPa rum pum pum pum\u201d for him.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll be glad you did. Yow!<\/p>\n RIP George Michael: 1963-2016<\/p>\n Wham: 1981 – 1984<\/p>\n Wham!: 1984 \u2013 1986<\/p>\n Insignificant Trivia Question: What is the name of Marilyn McCoo’s husband, who just happened to double as her singing partner after the 5th Dimension broke up?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was watching the movie Deadpool the other day.\u00a0 Although incredibly graphic both visually and verbally, I consider it a modern day classic.\u00a0 The humor is woven in and balanced brilliantly throughout.\u00a0 One of the funnier running themes is Wade Wilson’s (Deadpool’s real name as played by Ryan Reynolds) love of the pop group Wham!.\u00a0 … <\/p>\n